The Inner Conversation That Shapes Your Results

As we head into a new year, it’s tradition to think about goals.

Around here, it’s obviously not “I’m going to start working out.”

It’s bigger than that, we are already working hard. Instead, it might be:

• Finally losing the weight that’s lingered for years

• Feeling like our fitness has truly moved to the next level

• Earning an A+ on a DEXA scan or bloodwork

And yet, here’s the uncomfortable truth I’ve seen play out over decades of coaching:

Few people fail because they don’t work hard…
They fail, stall or burn out because they never change how they work.

They show up.
They sweat.
They stay busy.

But the results never quite match the effort.

If that’s been you - maybe for months, maybe even for years - the problem isn’t the program.

It’s your process.

And more specifically, it’s the conversation in your head that’s been shaping your process.

Where Real Change Actually Starts

After watching thousands of training cycles play out, one pattern has become impossible to ignore: when people truly transform - when weight loss finally sticks, or someone who’s always dabbled in fitness becomes an athlete - It’s because something fundamental shifted internally.

They raised their standards.

They stopped negotiating with themselves.
They refined their process.

And they built day-to-day actions that aligned with the kind of person who produces those results. What’s often missed is where that process actually begins...

It begins with the conversation happening inside your head - especially when our old habits keep showing up, training gets uncomfortable, progress slows, or expectations aren’t being met.

The Whiteboard Test

Every one of us has a running commentary in the background of our day.

It shows up when:

• You decide whether to train or skip a workout

• You choose what to eat

• The workout starts to grind

• The lift feels heavier than it “should”

• The result doesn’t match the effort

Most of the time, no one hears that conversation but you.

Now imagine this:

What if your thoughts were written on the whiteboard for the entire class to read?

Would they match the same encouraging words of support that you give to your fellow athletes? Do you talk to yourself the same way that you talk to others? Or would they sound more like this:

“I should be further along by now.”
“Other people respond better than I do.”
“Maybe this is just my ceiling.”

“My life is too busy.”

“It must be nice for them.”

“She must have good genetics.”
“I’ll dial it back and really lock things in next week.”
“I’ve been doing this for years, why hasn’t it clicked?”

If you talked to other people the way you probably talk to yourself, I would throw you out of the gym!

So here’s the real question:

Do those thoughts help you:

• Execute the next rep?

• Make a disciplined choice outside the gym?

• Or stay fully engaged in the process long enough to create real change?

Or would they quietly lower your standards, pull you out of the moment, and stretch a temporary plateau into something permanent?

If so, this is a big deal: that voice is always coaching you whether you’ve trained it or not.

Most Plateaus Aren’t Physical.

The problem with a sabotaging inner voice isn’t just that it’s negative. The problem is that it quietly lowers your standards.

And almost every unhelpful thought and feeling is pointing in one of two directions:

• The past: “I should be further along by now.” “I’ve wasted opportunities.”

• The future: “What if this never changes?” “What if things get harder.”

Neither helps you do the next rep, or make a healthy food choice, or even gets you to show up for a workout when you really don’t want to.

But these are the only decisions that actually matter. These are the things that you have immediate control over:

Your next rep, what you choose to eat, even just showing up are choices. And we make hundreds of these choices every day. Ultimately, who we are is just a consequence of these.

I feel a micro example of this process every time I do a hard metcon. If it’s a 5 round workout, rounds one and two aren’t so bad, but around the third round I start hearing the noise in my head. But the negative thoughts aren’t about the current reps. Rather, my thoughts jump ahead to rounds four and five. I start telling myself that the pace is unsustainable, that if it hurts now, it's going to hurt even more towards the end of the workout.

I am anticipating and feeling the nastiest part of the workout before it's even happening.

That’s where performance breaks down. Because progress doesn’t happen in the past and it doesn’t happen in the future.

It happens now.

As I like to say before a hard workout: every rep is a decision.

But so is every workout, every meal, every bedtime…

And the voice in your head casts the vote before your body ever does.

Train the Voice. Build your Process.

The role of a well-trained inner voice isn’t to judge, analyze, or motivate.

Its job is to pull your attention back to what you can control.

When attention stays on controllables, the process takes over.

And the process isn’t abstract. It’s concrete and unglamorous:

• This rep

• This set

• This intensity

• This food choice

• This mobility session

• This bedtime

An effective inner voice sounds less like commentary and more like direction:

“Stay tight.”
“One more good rep.”
“Do the simple things well.”
“This is the standard.”

High-level performers don’t eliminate doubt.
They don’t silence the inner voice.

They train it.

When something goes wrong - a missed lift, a slow workout, a frustrating week - your inner coach shouldn’t spiral. It should ask one question:

What’s the next controllable action?

Character Is What Makes Results Durable

This is where character comes in.

Not personality.
Not morality.

Character (in fitness and health), is the set of skills that governs how you respond when conditions aren’t perfect.

Discipline.
Patience.
Fortitude.

Grit.

Determination.

These are the standards that we hold ourselves to.

Character is what keeps the process intact when:

• Progress slows

• Life gets busy

• Motivation dips

• Results don’t show up on your preferred timeline

This is why two people can follow the same training plan and get very different outcomes.

One lets frustration, comparison, and impatience erode the process.
The other focuses on execution of the tasks and decisions within their control.

The difference isn’t talent.
It isn't even about effort.

It’s character — built through thousands of small internal decisions.

And here’s the part most people miss: this type of character isn’t something you either have or don’t have.

It’s something you build through practice and repetition. Just like strength.

Every time you notice your inner voice pulling you toward excuses or shortcuts - and bring it back to the next controllable action - you strengthen it.

If you build an incredible process, your results will also be incredible.

So What’s Going to Be Different This January?

Goals aren’t the problem.

Goals give direction.
They give you a north star.

The mistake is expecting the goal itself to carry you there.

Motivation will fade.
Life will intervene.
Progress will stall at times.

If this year is going to be different - not just in January, but through spring, summer, and beyond - the shift has to be deeper.

Don’t just ask:
What do I want to achieve?

Also ask:

• What kind of process would someone who achieves this follow consistently?

• What kind of inner voice would support that process when things get uncomfortable?

That’s the real work of January.

Not chasing a fresh start.
Not overhauling everything at once.
Not hoping this year magically goes better than the last.

But building a process you can execute and an inner coach that keeps you engaged in it - day after day.

Set meaningful goals.

Then spend most of your energy somewhere else:

• Training your inner voice to keep you in the moment

• Protecting the process by focusing on the decisions that will move the needle

• Showing up with discipline, patience and determination

Do that, and the results you’re after won’t need to be forced.

They’ll be the natural outcome of how you train, how you think, and how you respond — over time.